And this time it's for peeps!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Desperation Soi
They’re selling T-Shirts for the funeral
The pink revolution ran aground
The staffroom’s filled with talk show hosts
And an assortment of clowns
Here comes the blind Westerner
They’ve got him in a trance
As he heads for the naughty boys corner
With both hands in his pants
And the little green boys they’re restless
They need a coup deploy
As Dtocky and I look out tonight
From Desperation Soi
Superporn, she is so busy
Grabbing anyone that she can
reaching inbetween my pockets
she used to be a man
And in comes Lothario he’s moaning
"there’s something wrong with my spleen"
The bar girl says "buy me a drink baksida
and have your Listerine"
And the only silence left
Is the ambulance's noise
They won't be picking up
On Desperation Soi
Now the mess is almost hidden
If you cling to the fancy malls
The fortune telling lady
Is making political calls
All except for the paraplegics
And the Hunchback of Kao San
Everybody is in your way
Or else being a pain
And the good Samaritan, he’s selling
Freedom, feel good jump for joy
Releasing poor innocent birds tonight
On Desperation Soi
Now Noi, she's on an allowance
from her man, he's a nutter
a teacher's wage isn't enough
to keep her out of the gutter
To her life is not romantic
She is full of tricks
Her profession mimics religion
She gets beat on a crucifix
And the crane driver from London
Is moving on to Hanoi
Cos these chicks are getting old
On Desperation Soi
Taksin, disguised as Robin Hood
With cash for votes in a trunk
Sailing just off Hong Kong Island
He’s living in a Chinese junk
He sent his wife to face the charges
But he’ll be following soon
And he went off with Sven Goran
Reciting the Blue Moon
Now you would not think to look at him
He was ousted like a fallen cowboy
For creaming off tax payers
On Desperation Soi
Ajarn Filth, he keeps his world
In a transparent double life
Some of his sixth form pupils
Have gotten him in strife
Now her parents weren’t too happy
When they heard of the crude invite
"Those grades aren’t too far away
Waiting at my bar tonight"
His agency turned a blind eye
They only employ
Any feckless baksida who happens
On Desperation Soi
In the temples they’re taking orders
They’re getting ready for the new regime
The mumbling of the mantra
It’s just gone 4am
They’re spoon feeding veneration
The roofs are lacquered gold
Then they'll wallow in the reflection
Of their fantasy dream world
And the phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Hold it in don't be annoyed
take it out of the next imbecile's wallet you see
On Desperation Soi"
Now at moonlight all the sampans
Are drifting in the tide
Let’s wait for the sun to rise
And not go to bed tonight
Then we’ll go back to the bungalow
Where a fluro sign reads
on the beam above your hammock
"follow your dreams"
but don't stay here for too long
For Helen of Troy
Is checking to see that nobody is escaping
From Desperation Soi
Praise be to Chinese tea shops
with no tea to be sold
you can bring your mother
but she has to ask in code
and the Swedish extra and the Jewish photographer
making out on baksida's hours
while ladyboy singers ask them for work
and Persian men hold flowers
between the hours of ping pong
Teacher Ron takes on the boys
So nobody tries to think too much
On Desperation Soi
Yes, I received your email yesterday
about that time years ago
When you asked how I was doing
Don't you know the score?
And from this desperate nation
yes, I know it's quite insane
just a plurality of races
except most of them look the same
right now I can't go out too much
because I have to avoid
stooping grovelling salesmen
On Desperation Soi
Take It East
The pink revolution ran aground
The staffroom’s filled with talk show hosts
And an assortment of clowns
Here comes the blind Westerner
They’ve got him in a trance
As he heads for the naughty boys corner
With both hands in his pants
And the little green boys they’re restless
They need a coup deploy
As Dtocky and I look out tonight
From Desperation Soi
Superporn, she is so busy
Grabbing anyone that she can
reaching inbetween my pockets
she used to be a man
And in comes Lothario he’s moaning
"there’s something wrong with my spleen"
The bar girl says "buy me a drink baksida
and have your Listerine"
And the only silence left
Is the ambulance's noise
They won't be picking up
On Desperation Soi
Now the mess is almost hidden
If you cling to the fancy malls
The fortune telling lady
Is making political calls
All except for the paraplegics
And the Hunchback of Kao San
Everybody is in your way
Or else being a pain
And the good Samaritan, he’s selling
Freedom, feel good jump for joy
Releasing poor innocent birds tonight
On Desperation Soi
Now Noi, she's on an allowance
from her man, he's a nutter
a teacher's wage isn't enough
to keep her out of the gutter
To her life is not romantic
She is full of tricks
Her profession mimics religion
She gets beat on a crucifix
And the crane driver from London
Is moving on to Hanoi
Cos these chicks are getting old
On Desperation Soi
Taksin, disguised as Robin Hood
With cash for votes in a trunk
Sailing just off Hong Kong Island
He’s living in a Chinese junk
He sent his wife to face the charges
But he’ll be following soon
And he went off with Sven Goran
Reciting the Blue Moon
Now you would not think to look at him
He was ousted like a fallen cowboy
For creaming off tax payers
On Desperation Soi
Ajarn Filth, he keeps his world
In a transparent double life
Some of his sixth form pupils
Have gotten him in strife
Now her parents weren’t too happy
When they heard of the crude invite
"Those grades aren’t too far away
Waiting at my bar tonight"
His agency turned a blind eye
They only employ
Any feckless baksida who happens
On Desperation Soi
In the temples they’re taking orders
They’re getting ready for the new regime
The mumbling of the mantra
It’s just gone 4am
They’re spoon feeding veneration
The roofs are lacquered gold
Then they'll wallow in the reflection
Of their fantasy dream world
And the phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Hold it in don't be annoyed
take it out of the next imbecile's wallet you see
On Desperation Soi"
Now at moonlight all the sampans
Are drifting in the tide
Let’s wait for the sun to rise
And not go to bed tonight
Then we’ll go back to the bungalow
Where a fluro sign reads
on the beam above your hammock
"follow your dreams"
but don't stay here for too long
For Helen of Troy
Is checking to see that nobody is escaping
From Desperation Soi
Praise be to Chinese tea shops
with no tea to be sold
you can bring your mother
but she has to ask in code
and the Swedish extra and the Jewish photographer
making out on baksida's hours
while ladyboy singers ask them for work
and Persian men hold flowers
between the hours of ping pong
Teacher Ron takes on the boys
So nobody tries to think too much
On Desperation Soi
Yes, I received your email yesterday
about that time years ago
When you asked how I was doing
Don't you know the score?
And from this desperate nation
yes, I know it's quite insane
just a plurality of races
except most of them look the same
right now I can't go out too much
because I have to avoid
stooping grovelling salesmen
On Desperation Soi
Take It East
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Bring on the Arsenal
Here comes my second ever blog and I apologise but I want to talk about football. Not football in itself but the 'Universal Language of Football'.
The immediate motivation for this blog comes from a 14 year old Thai boy called Bombay, on Monday I was taking a class, it was the first time I had met them. As per the routine, I introduced myself as Paul from Manchester in England. I have gone through this routine so many times, it almost becomes insincere, usually in Thai classes you get a few people shouting Man U, at this point I laugh and say Manchester is a City, Man U is not.
On this occasion last monday however, something different happened a hand shot up, nobody spoke, I acknowledged the hand, Bombay's hand. In perfect English he asked me which football team I support. It stopped me in my tracks, a perfectly delivered question from a Thai student asked as naturally as I would ask a new work colleague in England the same thing. I told him Burnley and he immediately said 'ahh, you beat Liverpool in the cup'....Grade A for Bombay.
Reader, if you are following so far then you are probably aware of the mandatory conversation that goes on between any two males of European (and probably South American) descent at the onset of an introductory conversation. It's like an ice breaker, who do you support? Or words to that effect. If you are not then you should be, this happens it really does.
Like Toby for instance, he's half Thai half Swede we met before a 14 hour coach journey from Bangkok to Satun, it didn't take long for us to start talking about the beautiful game. The conversation went something like this... where are you from? Sweden. Do you like football? Yes, who do you support Man U? (sarcastic English put down) Yes I love Man U.... later in the converation Toby set about lacerating English football and it's seminal narcisstic attitude which can so easily be conveyed as arrogance. The conversation went on and on, but here we have two adults from two different backgrounds communicating about a subject so deep to themselves and yet so empty and meaningless on the great plain of things (my mum will love that last bit if she made it this far)
'It's just 22 men kicking a ball around a field' Anonymous
'It's not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that,' Bill Shankly
'Never trust a man who doesn't like football,' Frank Skinner's dad
I love football talk, I could go on for hours, some people can quote facts and figures some people know their history, others play so much Champ Man it destroys their life. But in itself it is an amazing form of communication and.... bringing me back to Bombay it is a motivational tool to encourage one 14 year old Thai boy who has never even left Thailand to learn and talk like an Englishman about an Englishman's religion (sorry Toby a Swede's too).
I'd like to thank everyone who I've ever played or talked about football with, to or at. Especially my Dad who introduced me to the game by lifting me over Turf Moor's turnstiles every next Saturday and sitting me on the terraces front fence on many a cold miserable (depending on the result even more miserable at 4:50, Saturday afternoon) East Lancashire afternoon.
As I finished editing this, the Thai afternoon monsoon hit, the sun came out, the Thais outside continued playing football in the very heavy rain and a rainbow appeared over Thailand's proud fluttering flag.
Blog On
That was my second ever blog lifted from my previous space. Just as relevant then as it always will be, today I am football effected, Burnley v Arsenal will be beamed into my flat in central Bangkok and all I can do all day is fidget and dream about the impossible happening. This will be the second time I've ever caught a Burnley game over here, the less said about the last the better. No more dissapointment (I know I set myself up for these falls, but isn't that what it's all about)
Come on You Clarets
Take it East
The immediate motivation for this blog comes from a 14 year old Thai boy called Bombay, on Monday I was taking a class, it was the first time I had met them. As per the routine, I introduced myself as Paul from Manchester in England. I have gone through this routine so many times, it almost becomes insincere, usually in Thai classes you get a few people shouting Man U, at this point I laugh and say Manchester is a City, Man U is not.
On this occasion last monday however, something different happened a hand shot up, nobody spoke, I acknowledged the hand, Bombay's hand. In perfect English he asked me which football team I support. It stopped me in my tracks, a perfectly delivered question from a Thai student asked as naturally as I would ask a new work colleague in England the same thing. I told him Burnley and he immediately said 'ahh, you beat Liverpool in the cup'....Grade A for Bombay.
Reader, if you are following so far then you are probably aware of the mandatory conversation that goes on between any two males of European (and probably South American) descent at the onset of an introductory conversation. It's like an ice breaker, who do you support? Or words to that effect. If you are not then you should be, this happens it really does.
Like Toby for instance, he's half Thai half Swede we met before a 14 hour coach journey from Bangkok to Satun, it didn't take long for us to start talking about the beautiful game. The conversation went something like this... where are you from? Sweden. Do you like football? Yes, who do you support Man U? (sarcastic English put down) Yes I love Man U.... later in the converation Toby set about lacerating English football and it's seminal narcisstic attitude which can so easily be conveyed as arrogance. The conversation went on and on, but here we have two adults from two different backgrounds communicating about a subject so deep to themselves and yet so empty and meaningless on the great plain of things (my mum will love that last bit if she made it this far)
'It's just 22 men kicking a ball around a field' Anonymous
'It's not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that,' Bill Shankly
'Never trust a man who doesn't like football,' Frank Skinner's dad
I love football talk, I could go on for hours, some people can quote facts and figures some people know their history, others play so much Champ Man it destroys their life. But in itself it is an amazing form of communication and.... bringing me back to Bombay it is a motivational tool to encourage one 14 year old Thai boy who has never even left Thailand to learn and talk like an Englishman about an Englishman's religion (sorry Toby a Swede's too).
I'd like to thank everyone who I've ever played or talked about football with, to or at. Especially my Dad who introduced me to the game by lifting me over Turf Moor's turnstiles every next Saturday and sitting me on the terraces front fence on many a cold miserable (depending on the result even more miserable at 4:50, Saturday afternoon) East Lancashire afternoon.
As I finished editing this, the Thai afternoon monsoon hit, the sun came out, the Thais outside continued playing football in the very heavy rain and a rainbow appeared over Thailand's proud fluttering flag.
Blog On
That was my second ever blog lifted from my previous space. Just as relevant then as it always will be, today I am football effected, Burnley v Arsenal will be beamed into my flat in central Bangkok and all I can do all day is fidget and dream about the impossible happening. This will be the second time I've ever caught a Burnley game over here, the less said about the last the better. No more dissapointment (I know I set myself up for these falls, but isn't that what it's all about)
Come on You Clarets
Take it East
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
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