Grandma Arrives - Free Muthathar al Zaidi!

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Which half will Grandma receive? Find out next week, with hopefully no shoe throwing incidents to report.

The Moon, Jupiter and Venus

The other night I came out of the house and looked at the sky and the moon was smiling at me with two eyes above it. I quickly shot it on camera to make sure I wasn't having an adverse effect from Dtock's cooking and then considered it was probably a sign from the gods that they are laughing at Thailand and their political fiascoes.

The next day at work it was hot gossip, the locals had gone on to say that it was a deeply significant sign and that Thailand was possibly slipping into the gulf. Some had even consulted books (a first for everything) and were coming out with pretty gloomy stuff.

Well they needn't worry because I've worked it all out, the sign was for me and all my fellow Clarets. Looking back now, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. The planet on the left prophesised a 6th minute goal at Turf Moor from Kevin McDonald, symmetrically the planet on the right (be it Jupiter or Venus who cares) indicated a second half 57th minute pearler with the outside of his boot from the same player. The moon smiling was indicative of me, Turf Moor and Clarets all over the world being sent into raptures at 4 in the next morning (Thai time) as Burnley marched on past the mighty Arsenal and took their place in the semi finals of the League Cup.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Channel Seven Thai TV for showing something useful for a change without any interruption as clear as crystal. We even got the on pitch half time draw live over here.

So there you go Russell Grant and co. you can take your thinking caps off and relax. We're the famous Burnley F.C. and we're going to Wemberlee, Wemberleee, Wemberlee.