Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So Young

On Sunday evening Bamboo made his first substantial forward motion and in finding a technique that if not graceful was at least somewhat workable decided to go for his first challenge and traverse length of the bed in front crawl.

After weeks of spinal flexions and extensions, finding himself in all manner of different positions and places, it was only a matter of time before he put the two movements together and came up with the wriggly worm technique of motion. Without much strength in his arms to prop him up and legs like unusually large bollards for a boy of three and a half months, it wasn’t going to be pretty. With steely Bamboo determination, he pitched his feet in for purchase and glided on his face. Once a steady rate of momentum was achieved he made up quilt in an impressive amount of time and celebrated his achievement by bringing up his last meal.

In celebratory style father wryly quipped to mother ‘at this rate it won’t be long before we can to send him to the shop’

Take it East

Friday, February 08, 2008

Discussing Gender in Thai Society

Is it wrong not to always be glad ?
No, its not wrong - but I must add
How can someone so young
Sing words so sad?

Sheila Take a Bow, The Smiths


I was going to write a blog about Bamboo, it's quite difficult to write about your child without writing a list of sentimental clichés, I will get down to it because life's a revelation at home with Bamboo and Dtock. I will also post more photos on my flickr site soon. I find myself wanting to be at home with them all the time and the the internet can wait (although I know it can't). School on the other hand is another story: let me get this out of my system and then hopefully we can all move on.

My highest level class is at the equivalent of lower sixth form in the UK, we've just covered a chapter talking about gender and the differences between men and women and how these differences can manifest themselves in culture and language. I then set the class the essay question for their end of term score: Are boys and girls treated differently in your home culture? Are they taught differently? Discuss similarities and differences in the ways boys and girls are treated.

The first piece of work I had to mark was this, all grammatical errors and syntax have been left 'unadulterated' to give the reader an authentic feel for the writer's raw originality, this is from one of the more gifted students (seriously).

In Thai culture, the family teach boys and girls differently. The boys mostly do anything with father and the girls mostly do anything with mother.

Most of Thai family think that the boys have to do anything with father because father is a man and they can teach the boys about how to be a gentleman. Father can teach the boys everything such as play football, ride a bicycle or do anything that the boys have to do.

Thai families think that if the boys mostly do anything with mother, the boys maybe homosexual or may be bisexual or may be deviate. Similarly, the girls mostly do anything with mother such as cooking, sewing, to iron clothes or how to be a good housewife or how to be a good lady.

So Thai family teach the boys and the girls differently. Because of a lot of reasons such as deviation, homosexual, how to be a good lady, how to be a gentleman etc. Most of Thai family give liberty to the boys and the girls but they also have rules for the boys and the girls to do anything in the right way and in the future, their boys and their girls will be a good gentleman and a good lady.


Panoopong Piroosawan.


I may call the Thais disorganised but when it comes to mind control they're geniuses. Nearly every essay contains myopic, chauvinist, nationalist rhetoric and sentiment. I wish I'd set the task how to make the perfect somtam.

Bob Dylan once said "Colleges are like old-age homes; except for the fact that more people die in colleges than in old age homes, there's really no difference." By that reckoning I'm in the business of mass genocide. And don't tell me you can't have genocide against your own race.


Take it East



Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Desperation Soi

They’re selling T-Shirts for the funeral
The pink revolution ran aground
The staffroom’s filled with talk show hosts
And an assortment of clowns
Here comes the blind Westerner
They’ve got him in a trance
As he heads for the naughty boys corner
With both hands in his pants
And the little green boys they’re restless
They need a coup deploy
As Dtocky and I look out tonight
From Desperation Soi

Superporn, she is so busy
Grabbing anyone that she can
reaching inbetween my pockets
she used to be a man
And in comes Lothario he’s moaning
"there’s something wrong with my spleen"
The bar girl says "buy me a drink baksida
and have your Listerine"
And the only silence left
Is the ambulance's noise
They won't be picking up
On Desperation Soi

Now the mess is almost hidden
If you cling to the fancy malls
The fortune telling lady
Is making political calls
All except for the paraplegics
And the Hunchback of Kao San
Everybody is in your way
Or else being a pain
And the good Samaritan, he’s selling
Freedom, feel good jump for joy
Releasing poor innocent birds tonight
On Desperation Soi

Now Noi, she's on an allowance
from her man, he's a nutter
a teacher's wage isn't enough
to keep her out of the gutter

To her life is not romantic
She is full of tricks
Her profession mimics religion
She gets beat on a crucifix
And the crane driver from London
Is moving on to Hanoi
Cos these chicks are getting old
On Desperation Soi

Taksin, disguised as Robin Hood
With cash for votes in a trunk
Sailing just off Hong Kong Island
He’s living in a Chinese junk
He sent his wife to face the charges
But he’ll be following soon
And he went off with Sven Goran
Reciting the Blue Moon
Now you would not think to look at him
He was ousted like a fallen cowboy
For creaming off tax payers
On Desperation Soi

Ajarn Filth, he keeps his world
In a transparent double life
Some of his sixth form pupils
Have gotten him in strife
Now her parents weren’t too happy
When they heard of the crude invite
"Those grades aren’t too far away
Waiting at my bar tonight"
His agency turned a blind eye
They only employ
Any feckless baksida who happens
On Desperation Soi

In the temples they’re taking orders
They’re getting ready for the new regime
The mumbling of the mantra
It’s just gone 4am
They’re spoon feeding veneration
The roofs are lacquered gold
Then they'll wallow in the reflection
Of their fantasy dream world

And the phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Hold it in don't be annoyed
take it out of the next imbecile's wallet you see
On Desperation Soi"

Now at moonlight all the sampans
Are drifting in the tide
Let’s wait for the sun to rise
And not go to bed tonight
Then we’ll go back to the bungalow
Where a fluro sign reads
on the beam above your hammock
"follow your dreams"
but don't stay here for too long
For Helen of Troy
Is checking to see that nobody is escaping
From Desperation Soi

Praise be to Chinese tea shops
with no tea to be sold
you can bring your mother
but she has to ask in code
and the Swedish extra and the Jewish photographer
making out on baksida's hours
while ladyboy singers ask them for work
and Persian men hold flowers
between the hours of ping pong
Teacher Ron takes on the boys
So nobody tries to think too much
On Desperation Soi

Yes, I received your email yesterday
about that time years ago
When you asked how I was doing
Don't you know the score?
And from this desperate nation
yes, I know it's quite insane
just a plurality of races
except most of them look the same
right now I can't go out too much
because I have to avoid
stooping grovelling salesmen
On Desperation Soi

Take It East

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Bring on the Arsenal




Here comes my second ever blog and I apologise but I want to talk about football. Not football in itself but the 'Universal Language of Football'.

The immediate motivation for this blog comes from a 14 year old Thai boy called Bombay, on Monday I was taking a class, it was the first time I had met them. As per the routine, I introduced myself as Paul from Manchester in England. I have gone through this routine so many times, it almost becomes insincere, usually in Thai classes you get a few people shouting Man U, at this point I laugh and say Manchester is a City, Man U is not.

On this occasion last monday however, something different happened a hand shot up, nobody spoke, I acknowledged the hand, Bombay's hand. In perfect English he asked me which football team I support. It stopped me in my tracks, a perfectly delivered question from a Thai student asked as naturally as I would ask a new work colleague in England the same thing. I told him Burnley and he immediately said 'ahh, you beat Liverpool in the cup'....Grade A for Bombay.

Reader, if you are following so far then you are probably aware of the mandatory conversation that goes on between any two males of European (and probably South American) descent at the onset of an introductory conversation. It's like an ice breaker, who do you support? Or words to that effect. If you are not then you should be, this happens it really does.

Like Toby for instance, he's half Thai half Swede we met before a 14 hour coach journey from Bangkok to Satun, it didn't take long for us to start talking about the beautiful game. The conversation went something like this... where are you from? Sweden. Do you like football? Yes, who do you support Man U? (sarcastic English put down) Yes I love Man U.... later in the converation Toby set about lacerating English football and it's seminal narcisstic attitude which can so easily be conveyed as arrogance. The conversation went on and on, but here we have two adults from two different backgrounds communicating about a subject so deep to themselves and yet so empty and meaningless on the great plain of things (my mum will love that last bit if she made it this far)

'It's just 22 men kicking a ball around a field' Anonymous

'It's not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that,' Bill Shankly

'Never trust a man who doesn't like football,' Frank Skinner's dad

I love football talk, I could go on for hours, some people can quote facts and figures some people know their history, others play so much Champ Man it destroys their life. But in itself it is an amazing form of communication and.... bringing me back to Bombay it is a motivational tool to encourage one 14 year old Thai boy who has never even left Thailand to learn and talk like an Englishman about an Englishman's religion (sorry Toby a Swede's too).

I'd like to thank everyone who I've ever played or talked about football with, to or at. Especially my Dad who introduced me to the game by lifting me over Turf Moor's turnstiles every next Saturday and sitting me on the terraces front fence on many a cold miserable (depending on the result even more miserable at 4:50, Saturday afternoon) East Lancashire afternoon.

As I finished editing this, the Thai afternoon monsoon hit, the sun came out, the Thais outside continued playing football in the very heavy rain and a rainbow appeared over Thailand's proud fluttering flag.

Blog On

That was my second ever blog lifted from my previous space. Just as relevant then as it always will be, today I am football effected, Burnley v Arsenal will be beamed into my flat in central Bangkok and all I can do all day is fidget and dream about the impossible happening. This will be the second time I've ever caught a Burnley game over here, the less said about the last the better. No more dissapointment (I know I set myself up for these falls, but isn't that what it's all about)

Come on You Clarets

Take it East

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year From Dylan Bamboo Nat Booth

Hope to meet you soon wherever you are. Bamboo

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Bamboo: The First Laotion Claret says...




'All we want for Christmas... is a play off place.'
Happy Christmas From the Beach to Everyone Back Home
Take it East

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

We're All Alhassan Bangura

Diamonds are forever
They won't leave in the night
I've no fear that they might
Desert me
Diamonds from Sierra Leone, Kanye West


When two of my current reading topics (UK immigration fiascoes and football) combined today I happened to fall across the story of Watford Football Club's and soon to be deported to Sierra Leonean, Alhassan Bangura who faces going back to his homeland where he could face the prospect of murder after having his appeal to remain in the UK refused.

According to stories that I've read about him online: he arrived in England four years ago, to escape the civil war in his country because his life was in danger due to his late father’s connections to the Soko cult in the country. After his father’s death, its elders threatened to kill Bangura after he refused to join and take part in its rituals of withcraft and mutilation.
He fled his home and a Frenchman who found him sleeping rough in Guinea trafficked him to London via Paris in 2004, when he was aged just 16. He was then taken to a house where two men attempted to rape him. Bangura escaped and was found in the street by a passer-by who took him to the Home Office’s immigration centre in Croydon.
He underwent therapy to help him deal with his ordeals and began playing non-league football where he was spotted by a Watford scout.
Since he signed for Watford, Bangura has been a great player and fan’s favourite. Al became a father less than two weeks ago. He says he feels more English than from Sierra Leone and his ambition is to play for England.

He was originally given indefinite leave to stay in Britain. However, the Home Office has decided that Bangura shouldn’t be here anymore and wants to deport him back to Sierra Leone.
As part of its evidence at the tribunal it accused him of lying, as he told the Watford programme that he came to England with an uncle he trusted called Eric. This was rather than tell fans a man tried to traffic him for use as a sex worker and that he was almost homosexually raped – hardly the kind of thing a footballer would tell in a culture where no player dares to admit they are gay for fear of opposition taunts.

Al can appeal the decision and needs as much support as he can get to continue living in the country where he has built himself a life with a family and a job.

I'm not the kind of person to ask people to go and sign petitions and I'm not even posting it in your inbox but on this occasion I am appealing for your action, not just because he's a footballer, or not even because our family have our own struggle with the very same corrupted and anachronistic system but because I feel that this man's plight should cause a difference in how immigration issues are looked upon by people in the United Kingdom.

“In a country where our borders are seemingly open to people from all over the world and in a game where we make plenty of noise about kicking racism out of football and society, it’s beyond belief that someone like Al has been subjected to the things he has had to go through in recent weeks.” Aidy Boothyroyd Watford's Manager.

It's a sad state of affairs that inefficient government departments much more acute at controlling the media than empowering the people that put them there can divide young families of this globalised world apart as if they are some kind of toy. And that this is condoned by a largely lethargic and unaware general public fostered on misunderstanding, fear and ignorance.

Please help and sign http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/928961524

Take it East

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me

This has to be the best Birthday ever, I woke up to a beautifully packaged big dirty nappy, a hug from Dtock and a little squawk from Bamboo. My Mum arrived all the way from Manchester (3 degrees celsius) yesterday. I'm going to spend as little time at work as possible (2 hours) before I go home to spend the day with my family.

Thanks for the cards money and emails. Thanks for the Burnley FC kit for Bamboo, Dad, it's a bit big for him but I'll get you a picture of him in it when the ladies aren't around and I'll let Bamboo know if we take three points against Preston this Saturday.

Thanks for the money and phone call Nana.

We'll be in Lumphini Park tonight, Bamboo in his new pram with Mum cooing over him, me jogging and Dtock trying to stay in time with the biggest daily aerobics convention in Asia.

Mum says Bamboo is even more beautiful in real life than in the pictures and yesterday he was as good as proverbial gold.

Take it East

Blog on

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Bamboo on Form

Don't worry the lip thing didn't hurt.

Not My Words - A Twelve Year Old Thai Student's


Thai Words, originally uploaded by oneboothy.

Happy Birthday

Monday, December 03, 2007

Truth, Lies & Hypocrisy

Everyone back home who reads the papers and trusts the Guardian & Observer (or less so the BBC) like I used to, should read this, they're base propaganda machines for people who can read long, fancy, complicated words just like The Sun is the same for those who can only read short simple words;

Please follow the link and let the truth sink in, thanks for the link Dave.

http://www.zmag.org/sustainers/content/2007-11/14pilger.cfm

And with that I've deleted my link to The Guardian and replaced it with http://www.prisonradio.org/ as it appears more accuracy, realism and truth comes out of Death Row than out of the former.

Free Mumia Abu-Jamal

Take it East, Blog On

Friday, November 30, 2007

Newport

My Mum sent me an email today, a date for our appeal hearing vis-a-vis Dtock's settlement visa rejection has been sent to Mum through the post.

Despite denying us access to the UK as a family, despite my insistence in the original application that I would stay with Dtock no matter what, despite completing the form 'Bangkok' under the part where it said where do you want to have your hearing they have given us four days to prepare for an appeal in Newport, Gwent on 3rd December.

Can the Government workers not read anymore in this New Britain? Everytime I send an email to them about it they reply to me in Newspeak. What a set of jokers... New Labour, New Britain, new doesn't mean great, good or efficient, open minded, intelligent, new doesn't mean anything except exactly the bullshit Britain has inherited.

If it wasn't for Bamboo's future and my belief that my family have the right to be together and the mother of my child should have the right to visit the country of her son's father without impediment, I'd love to tell them where to stick their asinine idiotic bureacracy. To quote that supra-hypocrite Tony Blair 'We live in a world where isolationism has ceased to have a reason to exist,' How does this work in practice Tony?

In our hour of need I will never forget how it was Thailand, the Thais, and our mutual families that came in for us. I will never ever forgive the British Government and their 1984 style bureacratic order for this fiasco. How many mistakes have they made with our application? How many mistakes must they make with everbody elses? It's those people blinded by false truths, in need who see the UK as the promised land who I feel sorry for.

With the prisons bursting at the seams and nowhere else to colonize I hope, they must be planning a very big war to cope with the results of the ghettoisation, the 24-hour boozing and the mass gambling that is the legacy of the Labour Party. [Fr.:Lynch, C., "The State of Britain,"L&TUR, (Apr. '07), p.6.]

Blog On

Take it East

Friday, November 16, 2007

A Tale of Two Countries #1 - Thailand

In the same week His Majesty the King of Thailand emerged from 25 days in hospital to a crowd of well wishers dressed in a pink blazer, Burmese troops continued their unabated aggression against their own so called 'revered' Buddhist Monks.

Whilst 'Pinkmania' engulfs Thailand, I quote from the front page of the Bangkok Post 8th November, 'Many shed tears of joy as they waited hours just to get a glimpse of the Monarch... Many well wishers dashed to shops near the hospital to buy pink shirts after seeing the King check out in pink... people said they would wear pink to express their loyalty to their King.'

Perhaps the Thai people would do well to listen to what their King said to them as opposed to rushing out to buy whatever colour he happens to favourite that week yellow on Monday, pink, green, don't forget Friday: sky blue for the Queen.

The King urges all Thais to seek the middle path and to live sufficiently. Quite how this latest craze is moderate or even reasonable is beyond me. However, it appears so much easier for them to engulf in the latest fad than to make the slightest effort to understand and/or carry out the reality behind His Majesty's fine wisdom and they do so with aplomb.

Why can't Thai people unite and show their love for their King by doing something constructive like helping so many of the homeless people that populate this country, or create and put into action plans to eradicate the cancer of prostitution in their society?

On one side of the border people are self-consumed with excessive and misdirected unnecessary homage. On the other side the very venerable, reverent monks who propound the same Buddhist philosophy as His Majesty are drowning in their blood.

How ironic, the Burmese Buddhist Monks and people are dying, suffering torture and tremendous hardship for freedom. Thais living under an obviously less brutal military dictatorship without real freedom of speech, are dressing up in pink.

Blog On

A Tale of Two Countries #2 - Burma

The junta has lifted a nighttime curfew, restored Internet access and ended a ban on assembly. But monks remain targets. The junta said recently it was still pursuing four monks who led rallies.

One of them, U Kovida, spoke to The Associated Press from the Thai border, asking that his location be kept secret for fear Thai authorities would send him back.

"At the moment you will hardly find a monk in Yangon. Monks are running away from danger. They are being arrested and sent to labor camps, tortured and killed," said U Kovida, 24.

The junta has not commented on allegations of abuse.

Taken from http://www.dassk.com/contents.php?id=1479

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Selfish Genes - The Practical


In Richard Dawkin's The Selfish Gene he explains how different animals have genes which have the ability to control their parents behaviour. This may be by the way of a young chick's squawking with its red mouth open causing an instinctive affect in the parent to feed it. Genes that are stronger at persuading this kind of behaviour in their parents survive in the gene pool.


I'm beginning to understand Dawkin's theory in practical terms, the demarcation between awake and asleep has disintegrated to a point that I don't know whether I'm doing one or the other. Last night I was having an unpleasant dream about Kayla, my cat in the UK, then I awoke (or so I thought I had) and started thinking why I'd not seen Kayla for ages and then I realised that was because I am in Thailand, and then I awoke again, to Bamboo squawking. Sleep seems to come in small insufficient slots and then you wake up feeling guilty for sleeping, it's such a strange feeling it's difficult to explain. Work is now at home and the work I get paid for has become my hobby, when I'm at work I feel I should be home.


Dawkins went on to explain mimicry, this is when a creature from a different species can trick another creature from a different species into thinking it is from the same species for a reason beneficial to the fraudster. A good example of this is how cuckoos convince birds of other species that their eggs belong to the same hatch until the cuckoo becomes big enough to chuck the rest of the eggs and chicks out of the hatch so that the dummy parent is exclusively feeding one child that isn't even his/hers and also happened to murder all of his/her most recent offspring.


In this sense human parents have the ability to use mimicry to stall the child's crying. This is colloquially known as selling a dummy and let me tell you, at this moment in time I am very tempted.

Blog On

Monday, November 05, 2007

Goodbye for Now Grandma Laos Singing 'Bamboo Kee Dta Lord'

Bamboo Kee Dta Lord
Kee Bo Mee Vita Min
Le See Luang Duay
yaaaay yaay yaay
improvised by me taken from Thailand's Carrot Mee Vitamin Song

I don't think many son in laws could honestly write that they're sorry to see their mother in laws leave their flat. After living on our sofa since Bamboo's birth, Grandma Laos left on Sunday morning not before making one last Laotian in Thailand style shopping dash around Big C. She has left me with an abundance of practical baby caring skills and a girlfriend in excellent shape mentally and physically. She (herself) left with quite a lot of shopping bags and some fantastic prints of Dylan Bamboo that I took over the weekend and am yet to release online.

Expect some post people back home these most recent prints are fantastic.

Grandma misses Bamboo and the feeling is reciprocated especially yesterday afternoon when we had a little accident with a loose turd, I'll spare you the details, it wasn't pretty but fortunately for him short-lived. Yesterday after she'd gone the ante-upped. I seemed to spend all day going backwards and forwards here, there and everywhere, but mostly in the bathroom washing, scrubbing, rinsing and pegging out. Then with Bamboo, turd watching, wee catching, wiping, more wiping, burp inducing, entertaining, cuddling, cloth changing, suit changing. Then out shopping for this pak and that pak (pak means vegetable). I love how nature gives the father the bottom end.

Even managed to get out for a game of football with some lads who live in our apartment, however that didn't get very far: an officious park security guard wouldn't let us play for the most bizarre reasons. In Thailand you can rip your motorbike down a busy footpath at the speed of sound out of your mind on Sangsom but you can't play football in an enclosed area, in central Bangkok, under an overpass with nobody about in case a tree is damaged and the authorities take it out of the security guards wages!?! In any event it's refreshing to see the locals get active about green issues for a change. I'll just have to stay an unfit Dad for now.

Today is Dtock's first day on her own with Bamboo, so we hope all goes well, I've got a private class later in the afternoon so I won't be home for poo duty till later in the evening. Keep her in your thoughts.

Blog On

Friday, November 02, 2007