Silence is Easy

Dylan Bamboo came home yesterday and in 6 hours he managed to go through as many nappies as hours. My duties are getting nappies off without getting shit anywhere else, cleaning, washing and shopping. Last night I spent half the night in the bathroom for reasons other than I'm usually used to. It feels much more rewarding wiping your son's mess and crap up as opposed to your own.

It's fantastic having him with us and after the effect the birth must have had on his looks and the shock I had at first, he has turned out really cute. I'm trying not to be biased, he looks like me in real life but on many of the photos taken he looks very much like Dtock when she screws up her face. His nose is a cross between mine and Dtock's so he's got an upturned button nose with a defined bridge like me at the top. His eye colour is black with a tint of what looks like green which would come from me, his skin is not as pale I first thought it was. He looks like a slightly tanned white person more than he looks Asian, his oriental looks are still only very discrete but starting to show as the swelling around his eyes comes down. He definitely has his Mum's round chin. I will post some pictures later.

Last night he opened his eyes really wide and smiled at me, which melted my heart and in a second moment grimaced you can't help wondering whether he recognises you yet (although he obviously doesn't) but I'm speaking in English to him all the time aside the Laos patter of his Mum and Grandma. I expect he's picking up the different sounds of our languages from the offset.

He doesn't cry too much and when he does Dtock feeds him, he doesn't seem to cry when he shits himself which I'm not sure is a good or a bad thing. He was making a slight noise at 4am this morning but it was all slick and easy get the dirty one off, wipe it up, put it in the wash with some water and mild baby detergent, put the clean nappy back on and go back to sleep. I'd rather have him shitting, pissing and being sick all the time than crying all the time (so long as it isn't adverse to his health) so it seems, so far so good, let's hope this is the form.

Dtock said the food she had at the hospital wasn't too good and whilst it's not had any effect on her constitution it's obviously having its effect on Dylan Bamboo's, so he's a little bit unwell at the moment with an upset stomach nothing unusual in Thailand but not the best for him, you'd think they'd be careful about the food they provide in the hospital but like I say this is Thailand.

Yesterday it took me a full day off work to get his birth certificate, walking backwards and forwards from counter to counter, translating our passports into Thai, translating his name into Thai so it comes out Dirrol Bamboo Na Buch, what's the point? He's not Thai and I wish Thai people would stop offering Thai names, I reiterate he's not Thai and he's certainly not going to play for your crap football team! Thai bureacracy is a joke, I say this over and over Bamboo will not be educated in this country, maybe kintergarden but anything after that we have to be in a country where people have a semblance of common sense. Yesterday the Thai nursing staff at the hospital started speaking to Dtock's mum in half English half Thai, how's her Mum going to understand fifteen? Thai numbers are the same in Lao as they are in Thai, these are people in educated positions, they infuriate me with their stupidity. Lest I complain about Thais or I'll be here all day.

Dtock's Mum is with us at the moment, I'll be sorry to see her go and may ask her to stay a bit longer. She's like the Terry Venables of the operation, Dtock being Steve McLaren and me being Steve Round with his cones and bibs. It's a privilege to learn from people like this, when they show you what do to it's so natural you can feel that this is the way they've done it for years, this is the way that their mothers taught them and so on. It's all so natural and correct, problems are kept to a minimum and I am learning how to become a proficient Dad without any kind of intervention from Western aids like dummies or pampers type nappies that would give him rashes and actually look uncomfortable or any of that crap that you don't really need and is just an invented to make people spend money.

So for now great news, I have a beautiful son and family, I'm losing no more sleep than if I were out on the tiles all the time like I used to be. Nobody said it would be like this, I expected hell but it's the complete opposite.

This song is for Bamboo, just like your showing despite your stomach ache Silence is Easy.

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